[socolais]

I understand exactly. I took me a while before I could really relax and just have fun. I think it's just a normal part of the process involved with giving ourselves "permission" to fully enjoy the encounter. I think the biggest thing that helped me was finding ladies that were comfortable talking in bed and letting me know what they wanted and how they wanted it. We started with massage, getting each other relaxed and getting familiar with each other's feedback communication. Positive reinforcement that she truely wanted to be there with me and that we were sexually exciting each other, was a big part of taking my emphasis away from "my performance" and enabling me to enjoy "our interaction".

I think women have similar issues, it's just easier for them to hide it. A little bit of lube and they're ready to go.

If a pill or a drink helps with getting in the mood or boosting confidence, then that's ok. But the real answer is in the mind.