Quote:
Originally Posted by Chicup  On a personal note, the focus on looks in swinging by the women is why I've been hitting the weight bench and dropping the love handles. If I want to have sex with women I find sexually attractive, I need to be physically attractive to them as well. |
That is an interesting point you bring up. Now I have a follow up; since you admit what most if not all of us have been thinking anyway, how do any of you folks handle a situation where you are the object of desire and the person who wants to hook up briefly with you cannot because he or she has rules with their partner?
I know this is that drama thing mentioned on other forums. However, I believe it does fit in here. I personally have been told that I am off limits because of my status on multiple occasions by women. They want to have sex with me, or even to talk to me just in general, however, they live by and obey their rules with their partners. This translates into that jealousy factor.
Now, on many occasions I will have a partner that I do couple up with when we go to some parties. And even there, if she, my partner is not attractive enough for the male, we get turned down. As the party moves on, I will then be approached by the female who we were attracted to and she will admit she would have sex with me in a heartbeat, if only her male partner had something in it for him. So, Ken and Barbie are alive and well in swingland USA.
Now that is a phenomenon I find interesting for swingers. I do observe the rules, of others. I, on the other hand, have no rules.
Do any of you have rules on swinging? Would you prevent your partner from having a good time because there is nothing for you to gain? I will allow my partner to have sex with whomever she wants. It is her right as well as her desire. Does that make me uncomfortable with her activities? No. This is swinging to me. On a personal note, my lady friend with benefits hides the fact that she has had on occasions, had sex. I ask her in a general direct way and she comes out in a round about way that she has had sex when I was not around. Duh, this does not bother me in the least. I do not have drama queen moments. Her, on the other hand, will rear her head in the awful green monster of jealousy if I told her that I found a women attractive enough to have sex with. She is insecure, while I feel very secure. It is all about the eye candy appeal. I can pass myself off as eye candy when need be. I hit the treadmill, the weight bench; even try to read up on current events to have my own opinions. I just do not like the jealousy factor baggage that comes along on too many occasions. That is not what swinging is about, to me anyway.
I think I see that crack of lighting well in advance of it striking me on the criticism trail. So be it.
BTW, Chicup, I like your style and your concern on being eye candy for the ladies. That is what this is all about, and that is exactly what is on this very site for multiple advertisements. Not many will admit to it, but sex is about bragging rights on the hot number that was bagged. Just look at the pop up ads right here. Do you see “normal” folks having sex or do you see Ken and Barbie, and Barbie’s friend, Stacy, having sex?
I still stand by my views; sex is 90% visual.
p.s. Please pardon the unintentional pun.