Quote:
Originally Posted by JustAskJulie  There are many who still choose to make swinging about sex, we are one of those couples. It's not that we don't want friends, or would turn friends away should we make them. What we actually put in our profile is that we are looking for both friends and great sex, but we don't expect them both in the same package. On a few occasions we get lucky and get both, but those are rare cases where the people think so much like we do that we don't really have to worry about any "inappropriate emotional attachments" developing because we are all on the same page. |
Great advice. What this tells me is that I need to make sure that the other couple is really in it for the right reasons, has a very high maturity level, and has an airtight relationship... that's the safest scenario for letting things turn into friendship.
Don't get me wrong, I love making new friends and I'm one of those people who "never met a stranger" because I'm genuinely interested in other people and feed off the energy of friendships... but when it comes to sharing someone you love sexually I just wasn't sure how to deal with other people who don't respect my relationship (or their own) enough to cool their jets when they start developing sparks.
I've made my opinion clear in other posts... I don't believe in that old cliche' "the heart wants what it wants." I think that's an excuse people use to validate emotional disloyalty, selfishness, and a refusal to control their feelings. You love who you choose to love.
Frankly, if my partner "fell in love" with someone else I would consider that cheating. He had a choice, and he chose someone else over me. He chose to compromise our relationship. He chose himself over us. Period.
I'm not into polyamory whatsoever... I guess if others are into it, that scenario isn't so bad for them. But for me, it would be CRUSHING. Especially given the level of trust and unselfishness it requires to swing in the first place.