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Old 07-15-2008, 01:37 PM   #10 (permalink)
two42lovers
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Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 298
Location: California central coast
Status: couple
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Default Re: How do you deal with inappropriate emotional attachment?

Surprised to hear Lee doesn't have any friends. Friendship is an emotional attachment, it is also an emotional (as well as intellectual) committment. Friendship is not the same as marriage, not at all, but it is an emotional connection.

Quote:
Anytime you involve anything more than physical pleasures into your relationship you take the chance of attachment and drama.
A LOT of people would say sex alone can lead to emotional attachment. One of the ways some swingers avoid it is to objectify their playmates. They see playmates as sex toys for having fun, but they avoid friendship or any kind of emotional connection - sometimes they don't know anything about each other. Sex only - then goodby and we'll likely not be seeing you again.

Another way to avoid problems is to talk as a couple and always be sure you are on the same page and acting as a unit in your dealings with others. Our way is to first see if there is attraction, then see if there is chemistry, then we play and see if it's good, then over time, we are open to letting a friendship grow. (i.e. "let's fuck, then we'll see about being friends".) If the people we are playing with have trouble knowing the difference between being friends as a couple, verses a poly relationship (or cheating) we go our seperate way.
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