The topic the OP raises is a (perhaps) unfortunate by-product of the whole "friends first" type of swinging, which I'm not really a proponent of. As many of the more... ahem... seasoned members of this forum might attest (I'm looking at you Lee
), it wasn't always this way. It used to just be about the sex.
Nowadays, with more and more people seeking "friends first", it's only natural and human that some people develop emotional attachments. More and more people are curious about the lifestyle. Fewer and fewer of them are emotionally equipped to handle the possible outcomes. That's what happens when it's not just about the sex anymore.