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Originally Posted by wlhotwife  So if you don't feel the chemistry when the kissing is happening what do you say? I guess I'm just too shy/new to this to speak up once any sort of intimacy has started, especially if all 4 people are hitting it off nicely. I would rather put up with an evening of less than spectacular sex than be the "party pooper".
This is an issue that I have a lot of trouble with, and it has even given me reason to think that maybe I'm not cut out for this lifestyle.
How do you find the courage to put on the brakes once the train has started rolling down the tracks? |
If it's any consolation, we encountered this exact thing one of the first times we played. We met a couple we liked at a club, talked and everyone was interested in full swap, so ended up in a play room. But, as things got going and the foreplay started, it just wasn't happening for her. Like you say you are, she is shy and not that assertive either, so what she did was just ask for me when she was ready for intercourse, but in a casual way that just went with the flow.
I knew that wasn't part of the plan, so there had to be a reason for it, and didn't hesitate or question, just immediately went with it and both males finished with their own spouses.
Did it cause drama, not really, although they did leave shortly after that. Disappointed perhaps, but not angry though.
Don't settle. If it's not happening, don't try to force it to make the others happy. Just extricate yourself from the situation as gracefully as possible given the circumstances. If it's same room play, doing what she did ought to work out pretty easy. If your partner is paying attention as he should, he'll be there to help turn it in the direction you want it to go.