Chicup, i don't see keeping details of your sex life private from other people outside your relationship as any different between vanilla or swingers. i'm sure most vanilla couples don't tell their preist that the wife likes sodomy, or tell their co-workers that they like to be tied up and flogged, or tell their mother in law that doggy is their favorite position.
if your priest/coworkers/inlaws are the type that you would share that sort of detail with, then i wouldnt hesitate to tell them that you swing. the friends in my life that i do talk to about those things are the ones that know what Mrs P and i get up to.
just as i would feel uncomfortable telling my mother that Mrs P. and I had sex in the spa at a vanilla party, i feel uncomfortable telling her that Mrs P and i went back to another couples house for a full swap. i'll give her the same details i'd gve her from a vanilla party. we danced, we drank with friends, we laughed, chatted, and soaked up the atmosphere.
Secrets between your spouse? my gut keeps telling me there would be instances where it'd be less hurtful to your partner to keep secrets but i cannot think of one instance where that would be true.
Mrs P. and I were "lucky" in that we pretty much hit the same "i'm sick of hiding my fantasies" point at the same time... about a week before we met
