Quote:
Originally Posted by wlhotwife  So if you don't feel the chemistry when the kissing is happening what do you say? I guess I'm just too shy/new to this to speak up once any sort of intimacy has started, especially if all 4 people are hitting it off nicely. I would rather put up with an evening of less than spectacular sex than be the "party pooper".
This is an issue that I have a lot of trouble with, and it has even given me reason to think that maybe I'm not cut out for this lifestyle.
How do you find the courage to put on the brakes once the train has started rolling down the tracks? |
That's a really good question and to be honest the thought was floating around in my head even as I typed my earlier post. A lot depends on how things are going overall. But, at least if you get started with light stuff and don't feel there is chemistry you still have the option to say "hey how about we just do same room sex tonight (no swapping)". That gives you an out without "spoiling all the fun".
In the end, eventually you have to get comfortable enough to be able to spoil other people's fun if you aren't having any, otherwise you are just going to end up hating what you are doing, and possibly even hold it against your partner if they are having fun and you aren't. You are the only one who can control YOUR outcome, because no one else can read your mind.