The Swingers Board - View Single Post - Sex life is dwindling; could swinging liven things up?

slevin · 07-11-2008, 01:46 PM

You say that you always make sure that she is "pleased", but that your sex life is declining after the initial burst in activity following her being caught cheating. Are you two open and talking about your fantasies, your sexual desires? Are you exploring and trying new things together (not just swinging)? Outside of your sex life are things drifting into a routine? Are you both doing fun things that you both enjoy? Hobbies, trying new activities together? Do you spend time apart each week? Time out with your friends, her out with her friends, time to yourself etc.

Having an exciting and fun life is an important base for a relationship in my experience. It also tends to lead to an exciting sex life. Don't mean to suggest you need to be base jumping or climbing mount everest or something, just doing things that you enjoy (or you both enjoy). Not falling into the routine of taking care of the house, the kids, watching TV etc.

Are you both exercising? Eating well? That has a big impact on energy and sex drive as well.

I don't have enough experience to really comment too much on whether getting involved in swinging is a good way to try and ignite that sexual spark in your sex life. When our relationship had those problems I did a lot of things to break up our routine, to drag us out of our funk and start having fun again. At the same time we started to talk more openly about our fantasies, started to explore more in our sex life. All of that before we considered swinging at all.

07-11-2008, 01:46 PM	#5 (permalink)
slevin Swingers Board Addict Join Date: Jun 2008 Posts: 211 Location: Canada Status: Couple SLS Name:sk_forfun	Re: Maybe in the wrong spot but asking advice... You say that you always make sure that she is "pleased", but that your sex life is declining after the initial burst in activity following her being caught cheating. Are you two open and talking about your fantasies, your sexual desires? Are you exploring and trying new things together (not just swinging)? Outside of your sex life are things drifting into a routine? Are you both doing fun things that you both enjoy? Hobbies, trying new activities together? Do you spend time apart each week? Time out with your friends, her out with her friends, time to yourself etc. Having an exciting and fun life is an important base for a relationship in my experience. It also tends to lead to an exciting sex life. Don't mean to suggest you need to be base jumping or climbing mount everest or something, just doing things that you enjoy (or you both enjoy). Not falling into the routine of taking care of the house, the kids, watching TV etc. Are you both exercising? Eating well? That has a big impact on energy and sex drive as well. I don't have enough experience to really comment too much on whether getting involved in swinging is a good way to try and ignite that sexual spark in your sex life. When our relationship had those problems I did a lot of things to break up our routine, to drag us out of our funk and start having fun again. At the same time we started to talk more openly about our fantasies, started to explore more in our sex life. All of that before we considered swinging at all.