Thanks everyone for their replies! I felt a lot of understanding, good food for thought, and being welcome.
My girlfriend is 23. She and I have been together for not long - 4 months, but we have extremely similar philosophies of life. As a random example, there's this book called "
Do You Think What You Think You Think" with debate-provoking ethical questions that most 2 people will disagree about, but we agreed on the answer to every question. I think that makes a solid foundation for a relationship, and we've talked about marriage, but not for during the next year. We both agree it's best to get to know each other even better first.
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Originally Posted by JustAskJulie If marriage is in the cards, I would suggest you work towards that before you worry about trying to add swinging into the mix. Make sure your relationship is 100% well-grounded before you try to bring other people in. |
Agreed. I thought however, that it's honest to disclose my interest in the lifestyle beforehand, rather than surprise her up after I "caught" her in a marriage.
sweet_tna's comment about the ballroom dancing scenario was very interesting. My GF is more towards the brutally open side when it comes to sex (i.e. "Anal? Never even dream about it!"), so I think she was genuinely scared by the idea. I didn't ask, though, why. I thought I tested the waters enough by even mentioning the lifestyle as a possible future interest and didn't want to push my luck.
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Originally Posted by sexcupid Because with that you are insinuating that you anticipate the sex/relationship to become so ho-hum that you want to look else where to get your kicks. |
That made me think too. I'd be interested in the lifestyle even if my GF were a crazed volcanic nympho, because, "different does not mean better". But I see how she could've interpreted that as anticipation of boredom.
Indeed, clear communication is key. I'll let it simmer for a while, then express more clearly how I feel.
Thanks all for the help!