The Swingers Board - View Single Post - Emotional & logistical problems of an open marriage(was:MFM then FMF for starters?)

CallMeLoki · 07-06-2008, 11:26 PM

Hey folks:

Thanks for all the advice! I have to admit, you folks are making me question our tentative plan (and questioning is definitely a good thing).

The thing that makes this young dude appealing is that he's young, somewhat inexperienced, he's hot for my wife, my wife is hot for him, he's 300 miles or so away (although it is conceivable that he *could* end up working closer to us), their chatting started as a friendship (she met him on a sex forum, but it was more a discussion forum rather than a "hook-up" forum). She's made it perfectly clear to him that he'd be a dildo with heartbeat, and that this experience is for "us" (me and my wife) moreso than for him, although he certainly gets to enjoy it too. He IS pursuing a young lady his own age, and in fact he's said that if they end up dating he wouldn't want to do this playtime.

Now, I have to admit, the one thing that does make me wonder given all your advice is that he's asked for some alone time with my wife. He says he'd be quite self-conscious in front of an older, more experience man...but I'm sure he is fantasizing about my wife (which is fine with me). The details of what he's fantasizing about, I don't know. However, I'm actually happy to give them some alone time, as long as my wife feels safe about it.

So now, you folks have me wondering: what's the worst possible thing that could happen if we do this? I think my wife would really like to have another girl involved at the same time, so that it's all "fair" without any delay.

Question: is the fact that he and my wife have an existing friendship (that involves some cybersex) a red flag?

And, yes, we live in a fairly metropolitan area, and there seem to be plenty of swingers and sex freaks here. My wife and I are both attractive people (we're not magazine models or anything, but we both seem to attract attention in a social setting), so I'm sure if we went to a swinger party we'd have several interested couples to choose from.

Hmmm...you folks keep the advice coming! My wife should be along shortly to post her views, I think...

"Him"

07-06-2008, 11:26 PM	#15 (permalink)
CallMeLoki Swingers Board Addict Join Date: May 2008 Posts: 201 Location: NC Status: Couple SLS Name:LokiAndSif	Re: Newbies: MFM, then FMF for starters? Hey folks: Thanks for all the advice! I have to admit, you folks are making me question our tentative plan (and questioning is definitely a good thing). The thing that makes this young dude appealing is that he's young, somewhat inexperienced, he's hot for my wife, my wife is hot for him, he's 300 miles or so away (although it is conceivable that he could end up working closer to us), their chatting started as a friendship (she met him on a sex forum, but it was more a discussion forum rather than a "hook-up" forum). She's made it perfectly clear to him that he'd be a dildo with heartbeat, and that this experience is for "us" (me and my wife) moreso than for him, although he certainly gets to enjoy it too. He IS pursuing a young lady his own age, and in fact he's said that if they end up dating he wouldn't want to do this playtime. Now, I have to admit, the one thing that does make me wonder given all your advice is that he's asked for some alone time with my wife. He says he'd be quite self-conscious in front of an older, more experience man...but I'm sure he is fantasizing about my wife (which is fine with me). The details of what he's fantasizing about, I don't know. However, I'm actually happy to give them some alone time, as long as my wife feels safe about it. So now, you folks have me wondering: what's the worst possible thing that could happen if we do this? I think my wife would really like to have another girl involved at the same time, so that it's all "fair" without any delay. Question: is the fact that he and my wife have an existing friendship (that involves some cybersex) a red flag? And, yes, we live in a fairly metropolitan area, and there seem to be plenty of swingers and sex freaks here. My wife and I are both attractive people (we're not magazine models or anything, but we both seem to attract attention in a social setting), so I'm sure if we went to a swinger party we'd have several interested couples to choose from. Hmmm...you folks keep the advice coming! My wife should be along shortly to post her views, I think... "Him"