Originally Posted by good times  Unfortunately, based on experience, I can tell you that it really doesn't matter what you tell him. He will agree to anything while his raging hormones are in control. The important thing is, does he understand swinging, and truly accept and respect all that it entails. We see a lot of single guys at the clubs we attend, and my guess is that less than 10% of them understand what swinging really is about.
As far as you or your wife's motivations are concerned, I have seen nothing here that would worry me so far.
SMACK!!!
Well, not really a red flag, in fact it is a pretty common feeling for new swingers to have. What you don't realize yet is that it is just as easy (way easier than we thought when we were in your position) to find someone you like that gets you just as hot and turned on within the swinging community as it is outside of it. Actually it is much easier within the swinging community than outside of it, mainly because their is much less risk of the drama I have warned of within the swinging community. So, it is much easier to let yourself go and get to know someone without any worries they will take it the wrong way and create drama later.
As I indicated before, you, as a couple aren't the issue here. The problem is, if this guy creates drama, or starts stalking your wife, or brags about his exploits with your wife around town, all things that swingers do not do, but non-swingers do to often, extricating yourself from it can turn what could have been a great experience into a nightmare.
I have to answer yes to this question.
We ourselves made the similar mistake of trying to gain our first experience in swinging with non-swinger friends we already knew. It was a total disaster.
We have also known many folks who tried what you have envisioned doing here, and while we have occasionally met someone who had it work out, the vast majority of them, more than 90%, wish they hadn't taken this approach and severally regret it. That does not include the group that we know exist but personally know very few of, that the experience was so bad it caused them to give up the idea of swinging all together. |