The Swingers Board - View Single Post - Signals-That you're not Ok

ktimephoenix · 07-02-2008, 10:19 PM

I would lean towards the "out alpha" idea. you see it heaps in the Vanilla dating world, Swinging just adds a new dimension. heck i've even watched my dogs use Mrs P's. or my affection for the same reason, trying to prove dominance by garnishing affection.

personally i'd be uncomfortable around someone that Mrs P. had played with that i didn't know...i think it could get confusing as to where the line sits.

I agree that you need to call them on the behaviour tho. there have been a number of good suggestions on how to do that here. the best way to "practice" getting into that mindset is to never take crap from anyone. demanding your money back when a product fails, demanding to be acknowleged for the good idea you had at work etc all gets you into the mindset that your life goes your way, so the other guy better back off.

confidence is key. you need to make the other guy wonder what it is that you know that he doesn't. if you don't appear concerned that things could escalate into a fight, either verbal, physical, or for your wifes attention, he's less likely to escalate... because he doesn't want to find out the surprise is that you are a black belt who can kill a man with chopsticks.

07-02-2008, 10:19 PM	#33 (permalink)
ktimephoenix Swingers Board Addict Join Date: May 2008 Posts: 209 Location: Adelaide Australia Status: Couple	Re: Signals-That you're not Ok I would lean towards the "out alpha" idea. you see it heaps in the Vanilla dating world, Swinging just adds a new dimension. heck i've even watched my dogs use Mrs P's. or my affection for the same reason, trying to prove dominance by garnishing affection. personally i'd be uncomfortable around someone that Mrs P. had played with that i didn't know...i think it could get confusing as to where the line sits. I agree that you need to call them on the behaviour tho. there have been a number of good suggestions on how to do that here. the best way to "practice" getting into that mindset is to never take crap from anyone. demanding your money back when a product fails, demanding to be acknowleged for the good idea you had at work etc all gets you into the mindset that your life goes your way, so the other guy better back off. confidence is key. you need to make the other guy wonder what it is that you know that he doesn't. if you don't appear concerned that things could escalate into a fight, either verbal, physical, or for your wifes attention, he's less likely to escalate... because he doesn't want to find out the surprise is that you are a black belt who can kill a man with chopsticks.