Quote:
Originally Posted by sexcupid  ...but I can't help but wonder why we aren't married (or at the least engaged) when we've been together for over 3 years. And then my over-thinking self just lets it snowball into a big ol' wave (snowball?  ) of negativity. I know, not constructive...but I guess everyone is entitled to a pity party now and then. |
I think you need to look deeper into this question and talk to Jeff about it. If it bothers you enough to post it, then it's something that needs to be examined more closely. It's possible that you've both agreed you don't want to remarry and that this is just a twinge of jealousy because your ex is doing something your not (even tho you've chosen not to). I equate this to an issue I dealt with while I was doing real estate... I could have made more money if I'd chosen to work like many of my associates (every night and weekend) but for good reasons I chose not to do that. You may have chosen not to get married again (at least yet) for good reason. Only you and Jeff know the answer to this. So talk it out with him.
Quote:
|
I know that many folks here are on second marriages. So I guess the main point of this little tale of woe is: if your ex- was remarried before you were, how did you handle it? Did you send a gift? Is there an etiquitte for this sort of thing?
|
I have to answer this from the other side, as I was the one who got married first. I had a difficult time telling my ex that I was getting re-married (it had been 4 years) for no other reason than I don't like hurting people and I did not know if it would hurt him. As luck would have it he had recently started dating someone else (finally) and we were able to discuss it on that level first (rather than my springing it on him). We don't have kids together so there is not a lot of reason to keep in touch but we do email occasionally. When I told him it was only so that he would know and not be schocked to hear it some other way. I did not expect any gift from him, and I did not have a wedding that involved invitations... and even if I had I would have expected him to come.
I'm guessing/hoping that in your case with kids being involved that you would probably be invited to the wedding (if it is that type of wedding) in which case I would suggest that you approach it as you would any other wedding. You may want to purchase a gift and give it from your children (I think that would probably be the proper thing to do).