Quote:
Originally Posted by NumbskullsX2  He wasn't "screwing with your head", he was testing you. You're new to the group, and this is his way of asserting dominance within that group, letting you know that no matter who feeds your wife and cares for her, HE'S the alpha-dog, and has (and will continue to) copulate with her at will.
Let me guess.......this person is probably a little bigger than you, maybe a little more physically imposing, and has stronger ties within the group, correct? Doing this in front of everybody reasserts his position as alpha-dog to them, as well.
That was the wrong thing to do. You should have challenged him. I don't mean to a fight (although that's how these things often end up in vanilla bars) but looked him dead square in the eye and said, in as cold and expressionless of a tone as you could muster, "That's enough" Say nothing more, you're not entering a negotiation or a dialogue. There's no need to curse, raise your voice, or make threats. With assholes like this you simply have to draw the line one time, but you MUST do it convincingly. Do so once, and you probably won't have to do it again, ever.
As it now stands, you will probably have to do it at some point in the future, most likely when he's feeling his status slipping within the group. |
This advice is right on the money. I can tell you from years of karate experience that he is woofing on you. Call it an interview for the fight.
And you failed the interview
Other than what he says above I would disagree with the need to raise the voice. The first time should be firm. Again this is not a negotiation. If not successful raise your voice loud enough to be heard by the group immediately around you calling attention to his behaviour. If that is not successful let the whole party know by the loudness of your voice. Don't allow him to start asking questions you feel compelled to answer or start a discussion. Words like
please don't or other weak responses have no place here. This isn't a place for witty comebacks as some suggested or I should have said this to him....... it's time to DRAW THE LINE! (voice usage is part of the course I've suggested below)
What you're doing is letting him know you aren't his usual victim.
Group embarrassment should be enough of a deterent in this situation.
And you will be dealing with him in the future.
And for those of you that have no self defense skills may I suggest a cheap course that is the most effective in teaching someone to defend themselves in 3-4 hours that I've ever seen. It is an absolute must for women (it uses their own natural reactions very effectively) or kids. I could take down a 500 pound linebacker with it.
It's called the F.A.S.T or fast defense course. Around a $100 and probably a karate dojo in your town will teach it.
Video of a short fight. Ignore the rest it's instructor related:
FSA FAST Bulletman Fight - AOL Video
PS I have no connection with the course other than having taken it.