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Originally Posted by cataryna  I too have a question about the "friends issue". We have no aversion to meeting someone and within an hour or two taking ourselves off to the bedroom to play with them. But we also are looking for "friends" outside of the bedroom. Our free time is not spent entirely partaking of the lifestyle. We enjoy going out to our favorite rock bar, going to festivals, or listening to some of our favorite local bands. Our profile states that we're looking for people to do some of these things with also, but also ones that we can take home afterwards and get freaky with. We do have two couples that we do these things with on occasion (rarely), and we're always trying to get together a semi-large group to go do these things with and it just never seems to pan out. It seems like for the majority of the people we have met...if it doesn't involve the local swingers club then they're not interested which has left us a little disappointed. Is this pretty normal? Are their others like us that wish to do more things outside the lifestyle, but cant find those same couples who want to do vanilla things? |
Developing friendships as adults is probably one of the most difficult things that anyone encounters. We all want to do it but at the same time we all have a difficult time doing. As was said earlier in the thread, I do think that within a very short amount of time we know whether or not the person we are talking to is someone that we COULD be friends with. And every once in a while you meet that person who is just your BFF from minute one. But once we grew up and got married it got a lot harder. Now short of the instant BFF thing happening, it takes alot more to develop a friendship, for starters there are more people involved. Not only do I have to get along with this person, but my husband does too, and not only does she have to get along with me but her husband does too. We often talk about the 4 way connection required just for two couples to feel comfortable swinging together, but if you want to actually develop a friendship then it requires an even deeper connection. Then take that a step further and include the fact that we're grownups and married and often have kids that take our time and that severely limits our time to really establish a friendship. And for many swinging couples they get so little time where they can go out and do things without the kids that they would prefer to take that limited time and go to a club/ house party/ social or hookup one on one, because that's the only chance they get to do those things.
We are like you, we'd love to meet some couples we could do all the other stuff with, but the reality is, we have a hard time getting our vanilla friends to find enough time to do those things.
So I guess all in all it boils down to, it's hard to make true friends as adults.