Quote:
Originally Posted by myopenbook  People often ask me about how to find interested couples if they themselves don't have a desire to go to swingers clubs, events, etc., and don't necessarily feel comfortable looking online. How and where does one find partners without freaking anybody out or coming off as some sort of creep or predator?
Thanks so much!
Best,
Jenny Block
Author of "Open: Love, Sex, and Life in an Open Marriage" |
First, let me state.. I offer this as a NON professional, and if this is for your PERSONAL information do with it what you wish, HOWEVER, if this is for a column or a Book.. Move along..
Way back when the internet first fired up and millions found there way to the only place for internet virgins, AOL, they in eveitably found thier way to the chat rooms.. titles of which sparked the deviant in many..
A quick stop in most any, led to wild conversations, sparked more fantasies, and led to more exploration..
Now lets stop here and ask the key question.. Why.. and the answer goes a long way to answering your question..
Because logged in under whatever screen name that they came up with they could explore, chat, do whatever they wanted, ANONYMOUSLY
Nobody knew who bigtitts44d was , for all they knew it could have been the next door nieghbor , thier first grade teacher, or ??
So, to answer your question, If people aren't into clubs.. or house parties.. then the last option they can take is to explore the world wide web again ANONYMOUSLY.. and see if there is someone out there that floats their boat.. only after some serious conversations via email and chat, decide if they are ready to kick it up and talk on the phone..
Still want to remain ANONYMOUS? Ask for a number and hit *67 to block your number when you call, but remember.. in order to make fantasy, reality.. at somepoint the walls and safe guards have to be lowered
Three rules apply:
1. be real.. all too often we run into people portraying themselves online as everything but what they truly are..
2. be clear .. never leave ANYTHING left to the imagination.. there are too many gray areas.. Spell it all out, what you are into.. NOT into..
3. be safe.. If things don't add up, or you get a weird feeling during any conversation, excuse yourself politely, and back away.. Never allow anyone to apply pressure.. in any form..
The whole not wanting to come off as a PREDATOR bothers me, for one reason above all else, if this is your concern, what the hell is it you are looking for?
After 13 years involved with this lifestyle in one form or another.. you learn everyone has kinks.. and while yes we have gotten a few shockers..
most of what people THINK is out there.. really isnt.. Sure there are a few.. but they tend to set off warning bells from the first contact
" What i want involves you me her, some maple syrup, a few tennis balls. and a ... "
YIKES!!!