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Originally Posted by bethncole  This one shouldn't be on the list. Clubs are for experienced or advanced couples. Newbies are overwhelmed there and it can drive them away from the lifestyle all together |
I also have to disagree with this post, but only to a degree. While yes a newbie can be and most often are overwhelmed at clubs (the deer in headlight look is a dead giveaway) I think it's because most often newbies may choose to go on a weekend night where it's considerably more crowded. Usually when a newbie asks me about our club, I will tell them to check it out on a less busy night, like a Thursday night or a Friday night where it's not quite as crowded so that they're not overwhelmed. However, if they have an aversion to single males I will tell them Saturday, but also make them aware that it can get very crowded on Saturdays so that they're somewhat prepared.
I do not think a house party is necessarily a good first experience because in my experience house parties tend to be more intense. For the most part everyone knows everyone, which might make it hard for a newbie couple to break into the group. They may feel a bit left out, especially if they're shy and nervous as most new couples are.
I definitely think there is less pressure to play at a club, then at a house party or at a scheduled date. At a club, you're one of many. You can choose to sit back and enjoy the sights, until you're comfortable enough to become part of the sights.
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Originally Posted by Volleygirl1790 How about waiting to late in the eving to get things started? Maybe it is my age maybe it is my lack of patience, but by the time it gets to be 4:00am I am about out of whatever mood is good...lol Unless it is a rare ocassion that the whole evening had consisted of heavy flirting and such.....we have no issue with getting comfortable in the evening, but at some point late is to late.. |
AMEN! We're really tired of crawling home at 6 a.m. because the fun stuff didn't start until 4 a.m. Our bodies cannot handle those hours like they used to!
I too have a question about the "friends issue". We have no aversion to meeting someone and within an hour or two taking ourselves off to the bedroom to play with them. But we also are looking for "friends" outside of the bedroom. Our free time is not spent entirely partaking of the lifestyle. We enjoy going out to our favorite rock bar, going to festivals, or listening to some of our favorite local bands. Our profile states that we're looking for people to do some of these things with also, but also ones that we can take home afterwards and get freaky with. We do have two couples that we do these things with on occasion (rarely), and we're always trying to get together a semi-large group to go do these things with and it just never seems to pan out. It seems like for the majority of the people we have met...if it doesn't involve the local swingers club then they're not interested which has left us a little disappointed. Is this pretty normal? Are their others like us that wish to do more things outside the lifestyle, but cant find those same couples who want to do vanilla things?
You'd figure after 6 years of this I'd know the answer myself. Which I guess shows that the lifestyle is a constant learning experience.