Oh wow... I didn't expect so many detailed responses. Thanks again!
Alright. I guess now's as good a time as any for some background info on us & our relationship. We've been married for 7 yrs, together for 12... but we're 26 & 27yrs old (so yes, we're high school sweethearts). If it were just about looks or quick sex for us, the whole thing could've happened a long time ago. There's nothing wrong with either of those... but it's not quite what we want, we just honestly haven't really found *it* yet (not-so-casual, casual sex). We *aren't* looking for a porn re-enactment. We *are* looking for new meaningful, passionate experiences to share with each other. But it's good to know that another couple went through a 2 year period before finally having their first experience too
It's not something we need, as we always have dynamite sex on our own! Just something different we'd like to try out (in years past, we've had sex w/ other people... but we were constantly hundreds/thousands of miles apart for extended periods of time back then and weren't ever able to experience it "together").
While we realize we can't always control it, we'd just really prefer to not have a "bad" first experience with this. I didn't think that was such a bad thing to want? We've worked very hard over the years to have and maintain a committed, open, honest relationship with each other... there are no secrets here. We have kids now too, so we've had tons of scheduling conflicts resulting in things just not working out period (it seems that many people don't have to worry about sitters for the kiddos, but we have to make plans weeks in advance). I know for a fact that the reality almost never lives up to the fantasy, but does that mean it shouldn't even come close? That's the main reason I started this thread... we're really struggling with putting the time/effort into planning two separate evenings out with the couple & single male when we know we only get out one weekend a month LOL. It seems like lots of swingers want to set things up for that night, or that weekend... sometimes we have to set a date that's a month away, and prefer to meet at the on-premise club we go to... yet understandably that's just not cool with some people. So...
What other words of wisdom do you guys have for us? I'm the type that likes to talk it out and hear differing views/opinions before drawing my own conclusions & making a final decision. So please know that everyone's opinion/view is greatly appreciated!