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If you have spent two years going to clubs and actively seeking playmates on websites and have been coming up empty handed the issue is probably more with your requirements or with your relationship or your level of readiness to take this step in your marriage.
Don't get me wrong I am not recommending that you "settle" and I agree with an above post that said you aren't doing anyone any favors if you do it just to do it. However the real key here is what the swinging experience does to add to your own primary relationship and it is not about hand picking the most perfect couple out of the basket the first time out.
My question to you is, is it really this important to you that you find exactly what it is that is etched into your heads of what someone "should be"? or is this two year quest because you don't feel that you or your relationship is actually ready for this step and you are using this quest for perfection as an excuse to keep putting it off?
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I completely agree. You are not looking for a marriage partner, you're looking for people to swing with. And while you're trying to lose your "swing virginity" it's not like losing your virginity.
I think it's important to consider options and go into swinging with a lot of thought, but really, after 2 years, I suspect you all are overthinking this. Invite the couple and the single guy to the club you attend. Make it clear it's a meeting...not a sure thing. Meet them both. Then decide to go further with one, or the other, or neither.
Everyone has to decide what is going to constitute a good time for them, but in my experience, I've had a great time with people that I may not have originally chosen as a playmate. Open your mind to the possibilities.
Now, if the two of you aren't really ready and this has been a stall tactic, disregard all the advice in the paragraphs above.
Pepper