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1. Do you not go to clubs because you had a previous bad experience?
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Nope... the few I've been to have been fine; however the closest one is over an hour from where I live, and the better ones in my region are further than that. I just don't have the desire or time to go often.
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2. Do you not go because you have had good success through other means and just have not had any reason to go?
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Most definitely! Although I'm not actively seeking new playmates at this time, most of the people I have met and played with have been contacts through the two sites I belong to. Tangentially, a group I belong to on one of the sites has hosted somewhat frequent and large M&Gs, and that is a good way to meet people or follow up online contacts, too. (The parties are held at a vanilla nightclub, usually in a private room that's closed to other club goers for most of the evening. It's the hotel afterparties where things get down to 'business'!)
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3. Are you or your partner intimidated or afraid to to go to a club?
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It's just me, no partner... but it's not that I'm intimidated or afraid at all. Just not much interest in that scene. I might feel differently if I were coupled, but I doubt it.
I don't think there's any foolproof, boilerplate answer for helping out people interested in the lifestyle but not sure which step to take first. There's lots of variables... individual personalities and comfort levels, geography, concentration of swingers in a certain locale, which sites are more useful where you live, and so on. What works for one, certainly isn't going to work for all.