OK - we've been pretty up front that we don't really care for clubs. Here's a go at your questions.
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1. Do you not go to clubs because you had a previous bad experience?
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Nope, not really an issue.
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2. Do you not go because you have had good success through other means and just have not had any reason to go?
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Yes, we've had good success via other means. And yes, the times we have attended on-premise clubs or fee-for-entry play parties have proved to be much less successful.
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4. Do you think that clubs are just for the "hardcores" or that you do not think you are a "real swinger" and do not belong in a club?
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No. The opposite seems to be true. Most people at clubs and fee-for-entry parties do not play, or only play once in a great while. Most people seem to just stand around.
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5. Are you not a "bar person" and don't like the smoke, noise, competition, chaos etc etc?
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There is no smoking in California bars. We love to go to our local bar to play pool and dance to live music. Very much prefer it to any club we've attended.
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6. Are you someone that does not like crowds or feel that a club scene is not personal or intimate enough?
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Yes - we get more pleasure out of meeting a couple 2-on-2. We've found things to be kinda superficial when meeting people at loud parties or in crowded rooms. Nothing wrong with "good to meet you let's fuck" but we prefer the pace of an intimate evening when we meet a new-to-us couple.
An exception is no-fee private house parties being hosted by friends. People tend to play a lot, and the socializing is very intimate and leisurely.