I (Ripley) would definitely hope that my relationship with Ender would keep its importance to both of us no matter who else comes along!
However, I *have* had to face and accept the fact that no matter what - whether we open our marriage physically or emotionally, or just try to keep everything between the two of us - I can't control the possibility that someone might come along who would be a better match for one of us than the other one of us is currently. And that would be hard to deal with.
Closing our marriage, physically OR emotionally, wouldn't keep that from happening. It will or it won't, and I have to accept that. It's part of life.
But yeah, I definitely want the RO to last, first and foremost - and Ender does, too. Doesn't mean it will happen; just means it's very important to us.
Hoping something never happens vs. talking about it isn't going to make things any better...KWIM? Better to take the scary thing out of the dark and see what it really is and deal with reality.
And, er, yeah, this has poked every single speck of insecurity I have - and that's nothing minor to poke, either!
The biggest key to ME being okay with things is to have the OSO be someone with whom things feel natural to ALL parties involved, and to not have to try to twist things around so that people are comfortable. Accomodate, yes, of course - but when it's ALL accomodation, where's the peace?
BTDT both ways. Something that naturally works is worth waiting for. Something that you have to work a lot at just to get the basics to function is worth staying out of.