First of all...I would like to thank all of those who have responded thus far. Your answers/personal antecdotes have helped clarify some things.
And of course, after re-reading my initial post...and the responses...I have a few more questions that have come to mind.
And I also felt the need to clarify part(s) of my OP. And throw in a few thoughts of my own as well, since my post the topic has been on my mind and Jeff and I have even discussed it a bit (after he read the thread as well).
I don't think I was really clear on some of my phrasing...I just couldn't think of a better way to say things...or perhaps better comparisions. For my comment on the 'level playing field'...I know I've used it in other threads and meant it in the context of keeping things fair/equal as far as playtime, etc.
But in this instance it was more like comparing a democracy with a monarchy/oligarchy (ha! who ever thought I'd have use for that term outside of a history class? lol
)...where in the first situation everyone has an 'equal say' and in the second the 'ruling party' is your primary couple. To use one of the respondents names as an example: Gator and Vol are the primary...and Vol's relationship with Tech and Gator's relationship with Kitten is secondary...maybe making the comparision to the Presidency and Congress would be a better analogy. Sorry, I'm kind of thinking on the type. (I also do not mean to insinuate that Gator/Vol/Tech/Kitten's relationship even remotely resembles anything I've tried to type either
)
The point I'm trying to make is that if the relationships with your OSOs begins to be detrimental to your relationship of origin (RO), how would you try to handle that situation? I mean, emotions make us irrational at times...in opening up to poly, do you hope that your RO will be the one chosen if it comes down to crunch time?
If involved in a triad with a single, once it evolves into a relationship you know you want to have/keep...maybe I'm getting more into polygany or polyandry here, but if the third of the triad doesn't have children or eventually wants to move on and have a primary relationship of their own (if they feel like...bad pun ahead...a third wheel) to have an actual marriage/family of their own...do you try to discuss that possibility or just hope it never happens?
In mine and Jeff's discussion, I kept coming to the conclusion that I would not be very comfortable with him having another girlfriend...but wouldn't have any problem with having another boyfriend. Yep, my hypocracy rears it's ugly little head again. But I guess that I
know with certainty where Jeff stands in my heirarchy...but I can never be 100% sure where I am in his. Even though I like to think I'm pretty high up there...but who's to say if someone comes along that fits his 'ideal' better to say that I would still 'hold my rank'...yes, that's just some insecurity speaking. I have to wonder if others have those same sort of doubts. Does the insecurity come from opening yourself and the relationship up to an unknown quantity?
Again, I appreciate the replies. It's just a topic that is very interesting to me and I like seeing the different viewpoints here on the board.
Thanks again!