[LFM2]

Unregistered, Have to agree with iapr here. Your posts throw up so many red flags regarding what you view as swinging. I have no doubt you didn't cheat on her because you took a lot of "breaks" so you could bone some chick and then you headed right back to her. Swinging is definitely not about boning anyone. Iapr is right in that it's about "commitment and compassion and treating the person you love with dignity and respect".

What I read is that maybe you want her permission for you to sleep around. To me, that's still not swinging. You're still emotionally cheating her out of the respect, love and commitment that you should be sharing with her. Part of marriage also consists of looking at women you might want to bang and resisting that impulse. If you feel that you need to take a break so you can chase them down to have sex, you're not ready for marriage or swinging.

They're right too about no breaks in marriage. We've been married for twenty-four years and we've never had a "break" from each other, the mortgage, the kids and their shitty diapers, when they're sick, when the other spouse is sick, when the dishes are dirty and the laundry needs done. It's life. Either you're in it for the long haul, or you're not. If this doesn't sound like what you're in for, don't do it...

I know this sounds harsh, but we were that age too. My husband remembers clearly that when he was 23, life was sex, roping cattle and working at the ranch. Nothing else mattered. We married when he was 27. His earlier life gave himself a chance to experiment, have sex with whoever and get his shit together.