Quote:
Originally Posted by Unregistered  Its funny that you should mention the whole commttiment issue and the desire to sow the wild oats. First off I have done my fair share of sowing. And this issue actually has come up and been discussed in our relationship. We have taken breaks to cool down the relationship and try to take things slowly primarily because of my desire to have sex with other women. For a period of six monthsto a year it seemed like every other month I wanted to take a break and the reason was I had someone I wanted to have sex with.The result of all of these discussions and trial breaks is that every single time I have come back to her and realized that she is what I want above all else. If it is a choice between a completely mongamous relationship with her or not having her in my life at all I will chose the monogamy any day of the week, but I guess what I am doing here is to see if there is not more than just those two options. MAybe my problem is I just want to have my cake and eat it too, but I would always hate myself if I didn't at least explore the possibilities of any alternative choices other than the ones she has presented me. Hopefully all this will make sense and you will all have some feedback for me, if not then feel free to ask questions. And for the record, I never once cheated on her. |
This is exactly what I am talking about. If you are needing to take "breaks" then you are in no position to be making any kind of committment. In marriage there are no "breaks". When you have a mortgage and housefull of screaming pooping kids there are no breaks. When you are trying to balance careers, pay bills and feed kids there are A LOT of very unsexy times and you WILL be tempted by other people. Taking a break and then coming home when your tank is drained will not be an option.
Your main question from the begining has been how to approach her about swinging. My guess is she will see it exactly how it is and that you are wanting to screw other chicks and you want her blessing to do it. It bad enough you love her up for month or two and then tell her you need a "break" because you want to fuck someone else and now you want her permission to do it as a lifestyle choice.
You can ask but if she has a grain of sense to her she will see that as the last straw and send you to the curb so she can find someone who will be satisfied with her and make a real committment to her and she can lead the kind of life she wants and you will be able to lead the kind of life you want.
Swinging is not about banging chicks because the one you have at home isn't satisfying to you. Swinging is still about committment and compasion and treating the person you love with dignity and respect.
You are still wanting to have your cake and eat it to but you are wanting your cake to agree to it so you can go around eating others without the guilt or hassle.
Do each of you a favor and do what will cause both of you the least pain and heartache in the long run and break it off with her and then you can go screw whoever you want and she can find a real man who will love her and treat her the way she wants to be treated.