I normally post with some frequency on other parts of the SB, but very seldom have any thing (I think) of value to this section, although I do read it and think that the advice that those who participate in a poly-ship is very good.
Now, I've read some books on poly...and Jeff and I have even had some hypothetical discussions about what I've read (or threads that have caught my attention).
But since neither of us have really participated some of my questions really haven't been answered to my liking. I mean, you can only get so far in a hypothetical discussion, you know? lol
So I'll throw out some questions and if any of you can/will answer, it would be appreciated...I just really would like to have a better understanding is all.
How did you actually broach the topic with your hubby/wife? What about presenting it to the other couple/person? Did you ever have someone walk away from the situation?
How do you hash out the details? Things like: is everyone on an even playing field or do you keep a primary relationship to which any secondary/tertiary ones take a lower priority to (and I really hate using that phrase to explain what I am thinking...but hopefully any readers understand what I mean)? If you aren't living together (or even if you are), is time management an issue? Do you try to keep your time with the OSO 'even' as with your SO?
What about jealousy? And in a slightly related context, how would you deal with something that your sweetie doesn't do for you, but does for the OSO? Not necessarily something sexual...but for example: you like getting flowers...but hubby states he's just 'not the flower buying type'...yet he starts to routinely buy the OSO flowers. Ok, that might not be a great example, but the best I could come up with while typing on the fly...but again, hopefully you get the gist of what I'm trying to say.
I'm sure that there are plenty of other things I could ask...but really those are the biggies that keep coming up in my mind.
For my part...I've always felt there was value in having more than one boyfriend...not always for the variety, but as mentioned on other threads...if each of them shared an interest with you (say going to DCI competitions...yep yep...i'm a band geek lol, a particuarly genre of music, etc) that the others didn't...that would be awesome. lol But, how do you decide on your level of comfort with another? ie the primary-secondary relationship or (and again I really hate the phrasing) having everyone on the same importance level. What if one partner wants one scenario and the other wants the latter?
Anyway...TIA for any insight!
