Quote:
Originally posted by Harold_N_Ann
I was just wondering what thing or things led you to adopt the lifestyle, even if you were against it, initially. |
I can't speak for my signifigant others that have participated in the lifestyle with me. However I have had three partners over my 25 year swinging span.
I think all three of them were against it initially and with the exception of one it took an average of two years to actually participate. My first was the best and longest. She was the victim of sudden death after over a decade of pretty frequent swinging. We were married or living together for 13 years.
I will just use her as an example.
Her first reaction was that I was a man with a dick and talking with it. She kinda shrugged it off and figured I would lose interest soon. Every now and then I would bring home a swingers magazine and she would look at it showing little interest.
This led to some light fantazing in bed creating situations while we were making love.
We would rent xx videos and certain scenes seemed to really "perk her up". We really escalated the talk during sex about these fantasies.
I occasionally brought up the idea of just going to a club to see what it was like, with the idea of doing nothing.
One day she actually agreed. I was shocked. She got dressed up in a short skirt, did the hair, and much to my delight trimmed her pussy hair before we went.
I was rather shocked when on the way she suggested maybe we should get some rubbers "just in case".
Not one, but a FEW LOL.
I would have to write a story to fill the details of that first night, but I had the most memorable fuck of my life that night.
Unfortunately one of the reasons I had such a good fuck was because he wifes hubby we were with was impotent. My wife was not so happy bout all that.
It took quite a while to get over that, we went through a rather long learning curve but within a few years we were regulars at many clubs and met lots of people through the mail (before internet days).
This was over two decades ago, but I remember distinctly that it was a very slow process. We were younger than most of the swingers at that time and kind of had a hard time finding compatable couples so we tried to find big clubs, which wasn't real hard as we were near some rather large metropolis's.
I don't think there was any ONE thing that caused her to go from repulsed by the idea to actually being the one that suggested it as often as I did.
IT was an evolution of sorts. You are doing the right thing by not pushing it, as I have seen quite a few unwilling partners at clubs and I kinda think it has a detrimental effect on their relationship.
If it never happens you still have the fantasies to share, and if it does then hey you got even more.
Guess I didn't really answer the question but there is no cut and dried answer. If something piques ones interest sexually and the idea comes up now and then eventually familiarity itself breeds comfort with an idea.
John