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Originally Posted by IndyNurse 
That's why I don't understand why I can't get past this!!!! Grrrrr. It's not him, it's ME!
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You can't get past this because it is more rewarding for you to hang on to it.
I've read your three posts over and over and this is my conclusion:
Your'e a drama queen and love wearing your crown.
Your husband's medical condition hasn't any place in your story other than to gain sympathy for you. Also you quote yourself as if this has been a story you've enjoyed telling many times before:
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I've actually said, "If it took an affair and the pain it caused at that time for us to live the rest of our lives together in a better and happier and more loving way, then it was worth it." (Perhaps he needed to see that the grass wasn't greener.)
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Am I nuts or what? I really do not want to hear "swinging isn't for you" because I want to work this out - we love our lifestyle friends and really enjoy the atmosphere, activities and environment. Maybe I just feel like he has had his fill of "extracurricular sex" and isn't entitled to any more....Obviously this is really bothering me and I have nowhere else to turn.  |
You ask us to "Save Your Sanity" but reading this last paragraph of your OP - with the smiley at the end - tells me you don't want to change, and you don't want anyone to tell you YOU are your problem.
I think you are getting great pleasure from holding on to your "problem" and controling your hubby with it. Passive aggressive behavior at its finest.
LM