[couplers]

Hi, Petra here. Maybe I'm way off base, but from my experience, the opposite of what you are thinking may be the answer. You say that your relationship is better and you are happier with your husband since the affair. Then go with it; allow him to swing and even play alone, but have him tell you about it and face it head on. Once YOU are the one granting the permission and have it under your control it takes on an entirely different feel. That is what I did, but from the opposite side. I was the one with a lover, playing mostly alone but always with my husband's knowledge. He didn't ask for reciprocity and I wasn't about to give it. To say I was jealous would have been an understatement. Not only was I jealous if another woman flirted with him, I was jealous if he mentioned a past girlfriend. (And yes, all the while I had a lover.) Long story short, once during a conversation with a girlfriend of mine where she complimented my husband, my jealousy suddenly came under MY control. I asked if she would have sex with him given the opportunity. She said sure and I made it happen. Part of it is my competitive nature. Suddenly, rather than competing to keep hubby to myself, I get competitive (and tremendously excited) knowing I am going to be trying to out-sex the girl I run/cycle with and play tennis against. Admittedly, I have absolutely no fear that my husband is going to leave me, and your situation sounds the same. So get into it - knowing he is having a good time (even if there is some emotional involvement), knowing that you can out sex her, knowing he is yours, knowing you can enjoy the sexual freedom as well. It is never boring, never ordinary, never like the vanilla women complain; being in the lifestyle is being perpetually newly in love with your husband and having intense sex all the time. Hubby has enjoyed the women I have brought to him, but I have enjoyed it more.