[sexychoclit]

O.K. I am not an expert in any way but I can tell you that I have had the exact same experience.

The couple that I am currently with is one that I have been with off and on for almost four years. The husband and I used to talk at least 2 - 3 times per day and if we weren't talking we were chatting on line. I would visit the couple about 1 - 2 times per month. I used to live 2 hours away from them but now I am over 3 hours away from them. We would (and still) go on vacations together and they have both come and visited me in S.C. It can make for a wonderful experience but it can also be a stressful one.

I say this because I have to please two people. If she is mad at him, I hear about it. On the otherhand, if he is mad with her I hear about it. If there is something going on with the children, I hear about it.

Over the past four years I have dated other guys and have been faithful to them, however, I can't help thinking about the husband of the couple that I date. He's handsome, intelligent and besides a few bumps in the road, he is a good man.

Don't get me wrong, I don't want to marry him. I don't think that I could remain in the lifestyle if I were married. But I do enjoy the time that I spend with him.

I mention all of this to say, yes, it is understandable that you have affection and it sounds like you are emotionally tied to the other woman. I can see how it would be difficult to feel the same for other women. Maybe it's because you feel that you have all that you need in your wife and the other woman. That is a great thing as long as it doesn't effect the relationship that you have with your wife.

Now, here is the stinger. I realize that I am attracted to the husband because I don't HAVE to deal with him on a daily basis. We don't have a mortgage, car payment, other debts or kids together. If he gets pissed off for some reason at me, I don't have to see or talk to him until he gets over it and the same goes for him. If I were married to him it is quite possible that I wouldn't like him at all.

I have been with two other couples and they didn't compare to the couple that I date. Its not that the sex wasn't good, just other things were off. When I go to clubs and hotel parties I wind up watching other people and I am attached at the hip to the couple. I don't go to things by myself because I don't want to have to tell someone "no". He tells people no for me. So that works out well for me.

Some people say that the swinging is all about sex. Well, sometimes the sex comes with an emotional tie. I can't say if it is right or wrong, whatever works for you, works for you. Don't push finding a lot of different lovers if that isn't what you want. No one can tell you what is right for you. As long as you can be honest with yourself and your wife, it's all good.