I htink I'm a little cynical too...but we are a couple that are currently free members on SLS...but we do have pics...and prefer to be contacted on Yahoo. lol
I will agree that there are some (be they singles, m or f, or couples) that stress hygiene, and being well dressed...but may not realize these things include themselves...lol
As for the invite to coffee instead of lunch or dinner...well...I don't know that I would flat out tell people that I don't want to pick up an entire dinner tab. I was under the impression most people that want to meet for coffee or just drinks do so for reasons such as time constraints...or if things aren't clicking or going well...then there is less of an obligation to stick around for hours while you wait on dinner. Did these guys actually say these things or are they motives/reasons you have assigned them in your frustration?
I'm from Southern Ohio...when I was a single fem, I had no problems with the single guys there...but I'm about a decade or more out of the area...so maybe attitudes have changed?