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Originally Posted by NumbskullsX2  I have to disagree with the people who say that if you want to know something about someone, all you have to do is ask. That works only when the truth serves that persons best interest. This might come as a surprise to some, but people lie.  The best way to find out if they're telling you the truth is to ask follow-up questions and get corroborative evidence if possible. |
You have a point there. The "just ask" is a bit simplistic of an answer, you have to ask and actually pay attention to not only the answer but the WAY they answer. That's difficult when you are dealing with people online but IRL there is so much more to communication than just the words involved.
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Originally Posted by two42lovers On the flip side, if you've only just met at a club, how do you know a couple is married to each other? (There are swing couples who are in fact cheaters, married to different people. We've met a few who've admitted it freely.) It's a little puzzling how some -singles and couples- we've met are completely upfront about their cheating. Have to wonder, if they are lying to their spouses, why tell us the truth?  |
Oddly, enough most of the time they are honest about it. We've actually met a couple of couples that just told us outright and then never seemed to understand why we avoided them after that. One couple in particular that we see at the club quite often. They are a very nice couple and we probably never would have asked, nor thought twice had they not come out and told us that his wife thought he was somewhere else. But now that we know, we avoid them. I know this isn't always the case.
There are a lot of quesitons that people seem to want to know the answers to but they never actually ask the question. I've never seen anyone (nor have I done so) ask another couple "so are you married TO each other?" I can't say I've ever asked a single guy that question either when I was actually playing with single guys. There were some situations where I found out after the fact that there was more to their story than they originally stated and depending on the circumstances that information may have led to my having nothing to do with them.