Please forgive me if this seems like a thread hijack, but since your comments address the original question, I would like to comment on them
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Originally Posted by two42lovers  A little piece of advice. Never give your home number to someone you don't know, only give a cell number. You can find out pretty much everything about someone if you have their land line. Previous addresses, schools they attended, age, and on and on... all you have to do type the number into a search field, and presto! |
Pardon me, but
when a single gentleman is asking for permission to screw my wife, I have a right to "know pretty much everything about him" It's true that a lot of information can be learned about a person through their home phone number, but most of it is useless except to check out his propensity to lie. Why do I care where he lived a year ago, or what schools he attended? The answer is, I don't. But if he says he's 28, and it turns out he graduated high school 20 years ago, or he says he's lived in the area for 10 years but there is no residential history, he's lying, and I want to know why.
Another thing about a home phone number is that it makes it easy to check into a person's criminal history. That won't matter to people who don't have one, but if I sense that a person doesn't want me to know who he really is, red flags start to go up. Wouldn't you want to know if a person has been convicted of a serious crime, or had an order of protection issued against them, BEFORE you have sex with them?
Are our rules different for single males than they are for couples? Damn right they are! But if the guy thinks that by asking him for his home phone number, we're "intruding" too far into his personal life, screw him. He can take a hike, and we'll proceed with one of the hundreds of single guys who wouldn't mind sharing that little bit information for a chance to be a part of this lifestyle.
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Originally Posted by two42lovers As for knowing a person is single, we simply take their word for it. No interest in doing background checks -lol! If it doesn't pass the "smell test" we decline, but as was already mentioned, if they are good liars there's no way to know. |
Ahhh, the old "smell test" I use it every day. In fact, I've spent most of my adult life trying to separate people who are hiding something from those of us who are not, and what you are saying about liars is true, IF you only ask one question. But nobody who does this for a living or takes this seriously asks only one question. Why do you think police interrogations last for hours? Can you imagine how they would go if they asked only one question?
Detective-"Do you know anything about the robbery of the corner convenience store?"
Suspect-
"No"
Detective-"Oh, OK. You can go. Sorry to have bothered you"
It's the "smell test" that compels them to ask follow-up questions, such as "How come your car was in the area at the time of the robbery?" or "Explain how it is that you don't have a job, but we found $800 in cash stuffed in your pocket?" When the bullshit starts to unravel, the truth is the only thing that's left.
I realize that by responding to this topic twice, I'm probably committing overkill or maybe beating a dead horse. However, the question asked was "How do we tell if somebody is lying to us?" All I'm trying to do is share a few "tricks of the trade" that some might find useful in ANY situation.
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Originally Posted by two42lovers On the flip side, if you've only just met at a club, how do you know a couple is married to each other? (There are swing couples who are in fact cheaters, married to different people. We've met a few who've admitted it freely.) It's a little puzzling how some -singles and couples- we've met are completely upfront about their cheating. Have to wonder, if they are lying to their spouses, why tell us the truth?  |
We've met them too, and to be honest, I think some people simply don't care. Otherwise, they'd be asking the questions I suggested. Your question really cuts both ways.......if other couples don't really care whether they're single, why should they bother to tell the truth?