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Originally Posted by javelin 
You'd think when you meet someone at say Hedo, you already have a lot in common, a shared interest. When the real world comes back, I think people turn back into everyday people and those cool new friends they met on vacation loose relevance in the real world.
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I think you are expecting way too much from people you meet at Hedo - or any other "lifestyle" getaway. A vacation IS a break from everyday life and people return to their regular life and are happy to do so. Hedo (or any other vacation) is a diversion, that's all. I think returning home to one's everyday life is what makes the trip all the more fun, it's the contrast, the something different
for a while. You are setting yourself up for disappointment if you expect people to place you into their everyday life once they return home. Their lives are filled with what they choose to put into it, and adding more (such as a time-consuming relationship with swingers) isn't likely to be what most couples (especially parents) want to fill it with.
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I find many seem to keep themselves busy, even when it obviously is to the detrement of the family.
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From your posts, I get the feeling that you think you know what is best for others, based on what you feel is best for you. Personally, if I sensed that from a couple we met, I'd be put off by that attitude. These couples may be thinking: If my husband and I want to place our children first, we'll do so, and who are you to say my hubby and I don't put in plenty of time for ourselves? We don't need other adults/swingers around to keep us happy. We find private time to enjoy each other.
The swingers you have met may feel this way. Giving their time to a swinger couple who is demanding more of them than they want to give is probably why they back off.
LM