Quote:
Originally Posted by good times 
My point is, their are no common mistakes or pitfalls that result in our being rejected by others. Furthermore, this is nothing like improving your golf game. With your golf game, their is a skill set that can be more easily mastered with help from others. In this case though, you are the way you look, and your personality is pretty much set by the time you are an adult.
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I can already tell that you are thoughtfull and wise but I strongly disagree with the above statements. I DO think that there are common mistakes it is just that since this is such a taboo subject and people are always so quick to brush it off with a "get over it and move on" that people may not be aware of some of the common things. My wife too has rejected people strictly on bad breath and while you would think it was a no-brainer it obviously isn't since two different people from halfway across the country have delt with the same issue.
I also disagree strongly that we can't learn from others. Isn't that the whole point to the existance of this message board? If there are mentors and coaches in every other walk of life why can't there be coaches and mentors in the lifestyle? None of us were born swingers, we all have had to learn and rather than just floundering around on our own and learning through getting kicked in the teeth again and again why can't we learn from the experiences and tribulations of others?
Much of who we are in the lifestyle today is the result of a very special mentor that took to the time to talk to me and show me the ropes and impress upon me the importance of things like assertiveness and flirting and interacting on a personal level with people.
I agree with you, if you do not ask people to play they probably aren't going to play with you and that the more you ask the more you will be rejected. Trust me, I am not afraid of rejection. On any given party night I probably get rejected in one form or another handfulls of times. I am right back the next week going at it again so it is not stopping me or slowing me down a bit. However I make no bones about the fact we want to play more and get turned down less.
I also believe if the awareness level was higher out there that other people could improve their game as well and the more people that are on the playing field and doing a good job the better off we will all be.
Think of that like this. We get rejected a lot but we reject others a lot too. A lot of those reasons we reject others are simple things like bad breath or dirty nails or unkempt hair and people not taking the time or energy to even trying to be nice or charming. Those are simple things but yet they occur again and again and again.
I know I am not going to change the world but I might make one person wake up and smell the roses and in this business one person can make or break a whole night.