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Originally Posted by arvcpl  I think people are getting a little off track here and not answering the actual quesition that the OP has posed. He has stated this is not about him but is wanting to hear some reasons that other people have rejected seemingly compatable people. I think it is good idea and that we can all learn something from each other if instead we share some of our experiences instead of telling him why he can't do what he is trying to do. |
I agree, and it is probably, at least partly, my fault that this topic has taken the journey that it has. But I have to say, while you answered the original question well in your above post, I don't see any possible way this can help someone reduce rejection (with the exception of doing something about their bad breath, but that really is a no-brainer), or how it can help someone hook up with others more reliably. The fact is, while we have all rejected folks for many, if not all, of the reasons you mentioned, their is nothing those people who were rejected could have done about it to have changed our mind at the time. For whatever reason, we just didn't feel attracted to them.
The points I am trying to make is based on the following quote from th OP.
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Originally Posted by gnb4u The reason I am looking into this is I believe rejection is a ubiquitous part of the lifestyle landscape and I think if were to look into it more we can find some common themes and trends and we can all learn from each other and hopefully avoid some common mistakes and pitfalls. |
My point is, their are no common mistakes or pitfalls that result in our being rejected by others. Furthermore, this is nothing like improving your golf game. With your golf game, their is a skill set that can be more easily mastered with help from others. In this case though, you are the way you look, and your personality is pretty much set by the time you are an adult. Additionally, your preferences are pretty much determined by your interests and aren't going to be changed just to have a better success rate at hooking up. And if you are one of those couples that are too much drama for others, you probably don't know it, I have never met one of "those" couples that did. So, their really is nothing you can do about how others perceive you.
Would I like to be able to emulate the results of some of the "Don Juan" types I have met, that are able to hook up with seemingly anyone they want at the club? Sure, but it isn't going to happen, because that is just not me.
My philosophy, when it comes to improving my chances of hooking up with others for sex is, rejections are not really such a bad thing. The reality is, most folks don't get many rejections, because they are so afraid of rejection that they never ask in the first place. Of course, those same folks don't have much success at hooking up either. Instead, the best approach is to ask everyone you find interesting if they want to play with you, if you get rejected, so what, you are that much closer to the one that will say yes. From my observations, the people who have the best success at hooking up with others are those that aren't afraid to ask. Heck, we are not the sexiest couple to grace this planet, but we have had far fewer rejections than people who agreed to hook up with us. When we do have a slump, it has rarely been because we got rejected by people, it was usually because we just didn't ask anyone.