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Originally Posted by ViSexual  And, Julie, is the fact you and your first husband are ex-s partly due to just this?
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Actually, no. As I've posted in other threads, I think swinging (including the open marriage side) is probably what kept us together as long as we were. What split us apart was just wanting different things and realizing we were different people. When we got married I was 20 and I thought I knew what I wanted/needed in a relationship and that he could give it to me. By the time I was 26, I realized it was something completely different (something that included having a lot more in common than sex - there was a lot more to it than that).
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Originally Posted by geminigrey I won't lie, there is some discord on the home front because the wife is quite solidly addicted to Second Life (online community, |
I always pictured you guys as more WOW types. My last ex was a WOW addict to the point that it caused a serious divide in our relationship. I don't like the idea of being second to a GAME! and it was something I wasn't willing to put up with. I put that in the category of extreme selfishness. I don't know what extent it is for you, but for us it was if he was awake and not at work he was on WOW. He'd spend some time with me in the evening on the nights we had together then as soon as I was asleep (if he waited that long) he was online until he fell asleep in the computer chair. Then he'd sleep all the next day and not want to do anything. By the end, he just didn't bother coming over because it was easier to stay home and play WOW than "fight" about it. It took me a month to break up with him just because I wanted to do it in person without his kid around. I finally did it over the phone.
I hope it's not to that point for you guys. If I remember right you've been together a while... at least 5 years? (it was about that long ago the last time I ran into you guys).
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Originally Posted by VegasLee In 30 years of being involved in alternative lifestyles I have never seen a relationship become "fixed" or last by delving into something outside of the broken relationship.
Many will use it as a reason to try easing the pain of being alone as the relationship breaks up at some point.
Anything that distracts from the relationship will not help it in the long term. It may prolong the break up but it does not fix the problem. |
That about sums it up.