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Originally Posted by geminigrey  I won't lie, there is some discord on the home front because the wife is quite solidly addicted to Second Life (online community, hard to explain, but google it if you're not familiar with it) and there's one person in particular that she has an online relationship with. And that's all fine and dandy, except that she's pretty absorbed in it to the exclusion of everything else. |
Ok its worse than I thought. I'm very familiar with this sort of thing, in fact the last open marriage I knew that failed was a woman I knew from an online game. She wasn't happy at home, her husband agreed to the open marriage (he wasn't happy with her either), shes now divorced and living with her online buddy.
I've been involved in online gaming for years, and I've seen this happen now in one form or another about 5 times.
You are in trouble, and if the guy she knows online is her 1-1 friend she wants you are in serious trouble (unless he is married, then he will have an affair he won't leave his wife and she will be miserable about it (yea saw that too)) .
Breaking the online addiction is very hard, its one of those where she will basically have to get sick of it, you can't really reason with it.
I wish I had some constructive advice on how to fix this but I don't other than you need to either ween her from the game 'somehow' or maybe even play yourself to get more together time (though that doesn't always work). I find the entire concept of second life to be about as exciting as watching paint dry but it would be worth it to save your marriage.
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Will it work and last? *shrugs* Dunno...the alternative options are to lock everything down, no playing or flirting or outside relationships, or to get a divorce now and move on. Now that the cat is out of the bag, I don't really know that the first one is a viable option either, actually. So I'm willing to try and see if we can maintain a working marriage, while having relationships outside of it.
And I'm sure you could find stats that show swingers' marriages have a high rate of failure too. I mean, hell, marriages in general have a high rate of divorce. Nothing is really ever certain, especially when people get involved.
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My impression was that open marriages were less stable above and beyond normal divorce rates, but I think you are trying to fix a broken relationship in a way that almost guarantees failure. If you are not #1 in her life now, you most definitely won't be after she starts to play around with someone else.
Edit: Though knowing the second life crowd your wifes 'friend' could turn out to be 15
