Quote:
Originally Posted by iapr 
...when you are the ones that are making the offer you are the one in the drivers seat and are under control of all the conditions rather than if you are accepting someone elses offer.
...if you two had worked together and schmoozed a couple of your choosing together and made the offer to another couple to come to your room then you could have determined the conditions and scenario as opposed to following their lead.
With this approach you will get rejected a lot more but you are doing things on your terms.
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I disagree.
When we play in another person's hotel room we are as much "in control" as when we play in our room. The conditions of play are our conditions as well as the couple we choose to play with. We go there knowing this, we don't do anything in another person's room that we wouldn't do in our own room and we don't expect those invited to our room to go beyond what they are comfortable with.
When we rent the room we don't see it as a way to have more control over people or how we play.
We have been taught that when going to someone's home you are a guest, you don't wander through rooms that you've not been given permission to walk through and you don't snoop around. You are, in that situation, stepping into another person's personal realm and, therefore, follow certain rules of etiquette. Even then, when in their home, whether there to swing or for a vanilla gathering, you can walk out if you come upon a situation that you're not comfortable with.
In swinging, people may mistakenly forget that the hotel room is just an evening in a room rented for sex. It is a bedroom and a bathroom and it doesn't belong to the swingers, it's the property of the hotel.
No matter who has the room or who makes the request to play, the terms should be discussed beforehand and all parties should go in feeling they are in control of themselves and not there "under the terms" of someone else.
LM