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Originally Posted by geminigrey  I think the difference in what we're looking at and swinging is that even though we're a couple, I don't know that we'll play together. Honestly, I think she's more comfortable with the idea of having one-on-one with someone she's built up a friendship with than being 'exposed' to several people. Self-conscious and all that. |
Well...I really don't want to burst your 'open relationship' bubble/label...but there are quite a few people in the lifestyle that play precisely the way you describe. They want to be friends first and then the sex...whatever you may think you 'know' about swinging might just be turned on it's ear by reading the Board and profiles on Swing Lifestyle (saw you joined there). Swingers don't just drop trou for all and sundry...many of us tend to be pretty picky about who we will and will not play with...so strike that myth down. As for not playing as a couple, there are folks in the LS that also play that way...it's hard to get 4 people that are sexually compatible, so for some they choose the separate play.
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Which actually puts me in a worse boat than if I were a single man. The assumption (and probably with good reason!) is that a married man playing alone is cheating on their spouse, which is worse than some single guy just trying to get laid. Of course, that sounds like I'm being whiny.  I'm not really out and looking for people to go have sex with, I'm just leaving the door open to possibility.
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I don't necessarily think this is the case. In everyday life there are probably women that will play with you...I've been a cheater before...and my playmates were married men. I know, I know...take my swinger card away and stone me now.
I am NOT insinuating that you are cheating, obviously your wife is in the know...I'm just trying to illustrate the point that I wasn't looking in clubs or on personals sites for playmates, they were men I knew from a vanilla setting. If you are looking on Swing Lifestyle for playmates, I will agree that you may have a more difficult time finding a playmate that thinks you are legit.
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So we'll see how things go, and if the wife feels up to playing. She's bi-curious, so the best 'warm up' would probably be to bring another female in, and see if she's comfortable with that. We shall see...
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I'm confused here...first you say you aren't playing as a couple...but here you mention bringing another female in. Can you please elaborate?
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Okay, honest truth, I'm just posting because I have to get to 10 before I can upload my own avatar...now you know! Don't hate me! *sobs*
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You're half way there! Can't wait to see it
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