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Originally Posted by JustAskJulie When you go at it from the attitude of "oh I'm being careful" or "I pick my playmates selectively", etc. you are asking for trouble. Swinging is risky and contracting an STD (of any kind) is one of those risks that we take when we choose to swing. I don't want an STD anymore than anyone else does, but I'd rather assume that everyone has it than assume that everyone who has it either knows they have it or is being honest about it. |
It's one thing to trust your partner's assertion of selectivity, foolish or not, but I don't know how one can even begin to trust every other person that the partner plays with. It's foolish to assume every person that person has played with are ALL selective and can somehow weed out those with HSV2 just from their tremendous selectivity.
I've been debating this concept of trust and safety and how it relates to oral sex, use of condoms and other STD preventative measures. Condoms or other barriers are absolutely no guarantee, especially if the same aren't used for oral sex. So, perhaps one should just have sex with those they "trust". Yet, even if one were to trust their partner, trust for one person just cannot be extended to everyone else that person has had sex with. If it's already foolish enough to trust one partner's judgment based on this arbitrary "I'm selective" about relative strangers, then it's completely foolish to trust their other partner's judgment about everyone that person has had sex with, and so on. So, by default, the partner one might want to trust, can't be trusted either. Sigh.
If I think too much (which is pretty much all the time) about this, I end up in the "maybe it's just not worth it" or I think I need to fuck in a HazMat suit. There is certainly plenty to think about in this thread and forum about safety and risk tolerance (or lack thereof).
Kudos to those few whom have disclosed their status and stories and take responsible steps regarding their status. That kudos is not extended to the couple that does not disclose their status and knowingly exposes others. That is just incomprehensible to me, and there's not enough bandwidth for me to express my dismay and disgust at that practice.
Thank you 50sLady and TooMuchFun for sharing.