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Originally Posted by txcplbiwife  I am interested in finding another couple/female that I can build a relationship with. I just don't know how to find what I want. |
Sometimes I think it's more luck than anything else. I found my partner on a "vanilla" dating site. Interestingly, 12 years before that, I found my husband on a telephone dating line. I guess lightning can strike twice.
I'm not sure how successful you'll be finding a relationship on a swingers site. I think intrinsically swinging is about NOT having an intimate relationship. I think that first you find the outside relationship, then see if you can bring your relationships together. Start by looking for an open-minded person.
Remember, too, that you're looking for a hybrid, so your pool of people who can crossover into the different worlds is going to be smaller, therefore it's likely going to take longer. Be patient, and hopefully have fun in the meantime. Stop looking when it stops being fun.
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If youhave children I am sure the poly-relationships affect them. How do you explain to your children how the other couple is involved in the family?
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Imagine you are a single mom. Maybe you've been on your own for a couple of years now, and you're starting to think about having someone permanent in your life again. So, you get out in the dating world. You have lots of first dates, fewer second dates, and even rarer 3rd dates. At some point, when you've narrowed things down, you think you've got someone you'd like your kids to meet. Thats when you say to your kids, "Hey, let's go bowling with Mom's friend George (or Georgina)". There is no pressure for your kids with this person, because it's not like you're getting married or anything. They simply meet, and if all goes well, they meet again, until George or Georgina takes a more permanent place in your life.
It works the same way with another couple. Take things slow, keep your kids out of it until you have something good going on. And you certainly won't be telling the kids that you're having sex outside your marriage, because you don't likely talk about the sex you're having inside your marriage either!
Hope this helps.