Quote:
Originally Posted by JandCMI  When I said "courting" and "acting like we are dating", maybe I should have clarified. We aren't in to sitting around four hours drinking beers and yakking and dancing endlessly. We aren't in to acting like we are in 10th grade and have just seen a real pair of tits for the first time. We like conversing with people first and we like to know if we personally and physically find them attractive. We don't require much time to figure out if we are interested but accept that most other people we find ourselves with don't move as fast.
Honestly, I'd rather masturbate then have bad swinger sex. That said, when we hit it off "well" with someone else sexually, we want to repeat it with them because we know it was good. We do want sex, primarily, but aren't interested in just doing one-timers with different people (any more than necessary) because, well, that's just no fun to us.
And you're probably right. We are probably expecting too much out of the lifestyle. |
This post kind of struck a cord with me and brought back some memories and frustrations from my youth. When I was young, dumb and full of cum I at times felt this frustration about women in general. I didn't want to have a full blown relationship I just wanted quick and easy sex with minimum investment of time and energy but yet if the sex was good I wanted it on a somewhat regular basis.
so here was the problem. there were chicks that would do me on a regular basis but we essentially had to be dating and have a relationship. And there were also gals that I could put in some minimal flirting and schmoozing and they would go with me from the bar for a one nighter.
BUT, if I ever showed up wanting a quick and easy fuck from bar chicks again they were either not interested at all in hooking up again because they were only after a one nighter themselves or they wanted me to pony up and date them and have a relationship with them.
Either way it comes out that in reality people just don't very often just hand out quick and easy sex on a regular basis without some form of relationship.
My experiences have been somewhat similar in the lifestyle. You can go to a party and have a one-nighter and all is fine and grand. You are a porn star for a night. But to try and relive that moment again is just chasing your tail and it never comes around again.
You can have regular play dates but they are going to cost you in that you are going to pretty much start having vanilla dinner dates and weekly card games and family barbecues. You can also have a magic moment one night hook-up of hot steamy sex without much initial courting or investment but the chances of it happening again are pretty darn slim.
you can have sex be quick and easy and have a string of one or possibly two-nighters with different people on an indefinate basis or you can pay a higher cost of time and energy up front and enter into some kind of ongoing relationship and deal with all those complicatoins. But regular cheap, easy and uncomplicated sex on an ongoing basis just really isn't part of the human animal.