It's interesting to read the responses here and the circular reasoning some of you are using. "You're expecting too much", then "What do you want out of the lifestyle?". Well, we think JandCMI spelled it out fairly well in their profile what they "expect" from their partners.
Like us, just because you're keen to the idea of forming some sort of regular swinging relationship with another couple or couples, doesn't automatically mean that you're poly. In our experience, we've found that we have much more fun being with others on a somewhat regular basis and getting to know what they like, what turns them on, etc. It has nothing to do with us wanting to "keep" another couple and we don't "expect" it either. It's a nice benefit. JandCMI aren't expecting that of their partners. Those of you who think they are need to re-read their profile - it says as much.
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If you are courteous, engaging, think of others, consider your actions, show up on time, etc, I'll let you in on a little secret--you're in the minority. If you expect to be treated as well as you treat others, when these 'others' are quite random connections in your life, you are going to be really pissed off.
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So, what? JandCMI should just treat others and be treated themselves like dirt? We all have "other" lives and other commitments of our freetime and, if you're a well-mannered individual, you both give that to and expect that of others. Common social courtesy doesn't become obsolete with someone you're going to fuck. If you don't think that's true (whether in a swinging or non-swinging situation), then you might want to take a good look at your level of self-respect. It's almost certainly lacking.
JandCMI - Don't worry about it. We've been in the exact same situation as you. Just try not to dwell on it. The vast majority of the time it has absolutely nothing to do with you - most people in general just do not know what they want or are too afraid of the "what if...?".
WildMiCouple has a good point. There are A LOT of ppl our age (late 20s/early 30s) who just like the idea of flirting and a good mindfuck and hide behind the anonymity of the internet to get what they want. Don't give up your wants because some people think it's too much of an "expectation". Those "expectations" are what YOU want out of the lifestyle and isn't that what we're all here for?