[WesternSwing]

My best friend is a woman we met in the lifestyle. She's not married but is in a long term relationship with her boyfriend, and they live together. I have to admit, I have feelings for her. Mrs. WS is all for me having this woman in my life in any facet I can. In fact her and her boyfriend stayed at our house for nearly a week this month as they were between moving out of their old place and their new rental wasn't ready in time for them to move in. The problem with my relationship with her is that she's not ready for having a multiple man relationship or swinging with other men, although her boyfriend encourages it wholeheartedly. So for now we're just going to be best friends, and I'm okay with that.

So what's the issue?

Well, I've found myself not really interested in swinging partners. Last weekend I was playing with a woman I'm very attracted to sexually and have played with several times over the past year, but this time IT just wasn't there for me. It was good, but I just wasn't into it as much as I've been in the past with her. What's changed? I've developed feelings past just friendship with my friend. I've been attracted to her since the first time we met, but it's grown into more. At least for me. It's kind of like that charge you get at the beginning of a relationship where others kind of become invisible to you.

Is it a huge problem? No. More of just a dilemma. How to solve it? I don't know.

So, I guess I wonder if anyone else has had similar experiences, whether just swinging and become exclusive with someone, or just swinging in general and a similar thing has happened, whether there was feelings involved or not? Did you keep playing with others and just didn't enjoy it as much? Or did you stop swinging with others? How did you partner take it?

For instance we have some friends where the wife has become exclusive with the husband of another couple and her and her husband only play as a couple, but he doesn't want to be exclusive but he's accepted it and he's getting kind of resentful that there are many other women that he's interested in and he's bound into this quad situation.

This won't happen to Mrs. WS and I, but I need to get my mojo back with others. Sex with my friend just won't happen - at least for awhile. And if it never does that's fine too. I'm just glad she's in my life. But it is effecting my fun with other women and that is weighing heavy on me.

Mr. WS