Church.
Nah, that's the last "excuse" I would use.
I have five basic friends/family groups:
1. Family (none of whom live within less than 75 miles of me),
2. Hometown friends (some live five miles away, but most live hundreds of miles away, at least),
3. Local friends from my swimming/running/triathlon days,
4. Local friends from Job A, and
5. Local friends from Job B.
There's a little intersection between some of the groups, but it's minimal. So it's easy to tell -- and remember the story -- groups 1, 2, 3, and 5, if I have to, that I am visiting friends from Job A that moved to Maryland, for instance. And of course, the Maryland friends are not vanilla Job A friends, but are Maryland swingers. The Job A folks would get a different story.
If I'm going to a Pittsburgh-area club, or a local house party, it just becomes a party hosted by someone that the inquisitor would not be likely to know. If someone discovers that I didn't get home until the morning
after the party, then the excuse is that I had to stay overnight because I drank a little too much (an excuse for friends and certain family members), or I "got lucky" -- in a vanilla context, of course -- (for some friends and former colleagues), or my car battery died (for my parents), etc. A broad excuse is available for each audience, and since the various sections of the audience aren't likely to talk to each other -- about my activities, anyway -- then I don't think I'm in much danger of being discovered.
All of this might seem complicated, but since I only need one or two excuse-stories per club visit, house party, etc., it's not at all difficult to keep track of.
Do I like lying to people? No, I don't. But at this time my swinging friends -- and activities -- are totally separate from my family and vanilla friends. I figure it's my personal business and they don't really need to know. I'd like to keep it that way.
By the time I'm 80 or so I might just start being honest with people, just for the fun of it at that point!
Thrax