Quote:
Originally Posted by a. synonymy  The biggest question you guys have mentioned is: Why does she feel that way?
I think a lot of it stems from her development growing up - when she was in her early teens. She read a book or two about men who had a very dominating relationships and they had a wife and a mistress on the side. She admits to me that it could be the root of her feelings, but doesn't know for certain. |
That sounds like a very logical source for the feelings. I'm sure that it is even more complex than that, but that explains it in the broad sense.
I feel this way bacuase I have some "cuckold" desires, though only the basic kind of way, as I have no interest in humiliation. I would love to spend my life in a loving relationship to a woman that had desires for other men. It would be an even more powrful stimulant for me if shared some emotional attatchment with them. Nevertheless, I desire to always be her "primary partner", and spend my life with her.
As for meeting women into poly. First, I'd go out to bars and clubs with your wife, if she's up for it (and if you two like that scene). Just mingle and somehow mention that you are in an open relationship at the appropriate time. Timing will be important in this scenario, otherwise it will seem that you are only focused on sex. Get onto other topics first.
I like the poly personals site PolyMatchMaker, or PMM for short. Get involved in the forums there. Some states have few single women, but you will run into some opportunities on that site.
I'd also check meetup dot com for poly groups near your area.
Socialize with open-minded people, and not just at the typical singles areas, because many of those woman are looking for traditional relationships. Go to renasance festifals and such. Go to happenings that draw alternative type people. Now, if you basically just a mainstream person, this may not be your best option concerning compatibility.
Now, I'd also enjoy the opportunity to have a secondary or tertiary lover, or just swing, but it is not as powerful of a fantasy for me. I'm the voyeur type, even if I'm not even there watching them each time. Just being able to watch them some of the time would blow me away!
Oh, my research about love and relationships to find that much of the theories behind polyamory are solid and biological. The polyprimary type relationship likely being the most natural, except that primitive humans were not honest and open about their secondaries.