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Originally Posted by two42lovers  Just for the sake of discussion, here's a question: if you love someone dearly (who you are having sex with as often as life allows) how can it not be poly? (Or as others here have called it, poly-lite?) You are emotionally connected, committed friends who love each other, and your relationship is something the four of you have worked out together, agreed upon by all. Isn't that the basic definition of poly? |
Yes, for many this is the exact definition of "poly". Emotionally connected, committed friends who love each other and therefore have some sort of romantic sex.
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Or is it not poly because your marriage is absolutely first, and your friends are completely subordinate? Can't there be "un-equal" loves? (Your spouse totally first, your friends absolutely secondary.) Can one be committed to and in love with their friends, but still keep their spouse pre-emminant? - a heirarchy of loves? Assuming the way you love your friends is different from the way you love your spouse, does that make it not love? (polyamory = multiple loves)
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I think you find that in most poly relationships there is a hierarchy, where your primary partner is #1 and comes first and your secondary partner subordinates in many aspects. Some poly relationships are much more equal, but from my experience in the poly lifestyle and others I've met, their primary relationship and/or spouse comes first and will not be forsaken for the benefit of another.
Mr. WS