 Re: Is Swinging Poly?
For us the "friends with benefits" approach has led to a poly relationship and the openness to the possibility of it happening again. When we first started swinging it was just sex, but we found the social aspect of swinging trumped the variety in sex. Having other people in our lives that fulfilled different aspects of ourselves and having the ability to develop a deeper relationship because of sex put us on the path to poly. We have found that we are closer emotionally with even our close swinging friends because sex provides an emotional bond that makes you want, maybe need to look after that person, even if you are not living together on a daily basis. We still stay in constant touch with our "tribe" and we all, as a group support each other through times of need.
This kind of attraction to others opened the door to being polyamorous, and when Mrs. WS fell for another guy it was not as threatening as the thought of it had been when we'd started swinging two years before. In fact, life all around for both of us got better. I no longer felt the pressure to provide all of what Mrs. WS needed emotionally, and she was very happy having the company and attention of two men that totally adored her.
So from experience I think there is a huge cross-over between poly and swinging. We've even seen those totally opposed to poly drift toward it when someone "special" comes along in their life. One couple we know that used to freak-out at the mention of emotions in swinging is now in a poly relationship with another couple. Many others that at first discussion were vehemently opposed to any kind of emotion have drifted toward the making better, closer friends aspect of swinging... Almost "poly-light" if you will.
So is swinging poly? No. But it can lead to poly, and in my opinion many are much more open to, or closer to poly than they will admit to themselves.
Mr. WS
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